Photo by Vishal Modak
In the world of working motherhood, the boundaries are often paper-thin. We’re answering emails while wiping messy faces, and we’re thinking about school lunches during board meetings. It’s only natural that sometimes, the lines get a little too blurry.
I’ve been doing some reflecting lately on how I show up in professional spaces. I’ve realized that there are a few habits—some I’m definitely guilty of—that don’t serve the “career” version of me. If you’ve found yourself doing these too, take a deep breath. We aren’t aiming for perfection; we’re just aiming for a little more intentionality.
1. The Trap of Oversharing
I’ll go first: I am 100% guilty of this one. Whether it’s nerves or just a desire to connect, I sometimes share way too much personal detail in a professional setting.
While being “authentic” is a buzzword we hear a lot, there’s a difference between being relatable and oversharing. I’m learning that I don’t need to share every detail of my weekend stress or my toddler’s sleep strike to be seen as a human. I’m working on “the pause”—taking a second before I speak to ask: Does this story help the goal of this meeting?
2. Venting vs. Constructive Feedback
We’ve all been there. It’s been a long week, a project is stalling, and it feels so good to just… complain. But I’ve realized that constant complaining without a solution just adds “noise” to the room.It’s okay to have grievances—that’s how things improve! But the balance is moving from complaining to constructive criticism. Now, when I feel a vent coming on, I try to reframe it: “This process is frustrating me, but here is one way I think we could make it smoother.” It turns “noise” into “value.”
3. The “Shabby” Slump
Look, I get it. Some days, just getting out the door with matching shoes feels like a marathon win. But I’ve noticed that when I let my physical presence get a little too “shabby”—the wrinkled shirt I grabbed from the basket or the unbrushed hair—it actually changes how I feel about my work.
Dressing with a bit of intention isn’t about vanity; it’s about signaling to myself (and others) that I am present and prepared. It’s amazing what a quick steam of a shirt or a swipe of mascara can do for my professional confidence.
4. Navigating the Office Party
Office parties are meant to be a time to relax, but they are still, at the end of the day, office events. Getting a little too carried away with the open bar is an easy mistake to make when you’re finally “off the clock” and away from the kids.
However, your professional reputation is built in the small moments. I’ve decided that my goal for social work events is to be the person people remember for the great conversation, not for being the one who had one too many.
A Gentle Reminder to Myself (and You)
If you read this list and thought, “Oops, I did that last Tuesday,” please don’t be hard on yourself. Professionalism is a skill we practice, not a trait we’re born with. We are all works in progress, juggling a lot of balls.
The goal isn’t to be a corporate robot—it’s just to show up as the most polished, capable version of ourselves so we can get our work done and get back to what matters most: our families.
Finding the Balance
At the end of the day, professionalism isn’t about being a perfect, polished robot. It’s about respect—respect for our colleagues, our work, and most importantly, ourselves.
As moms, we are constantly switching hats, often mid-sentence. If you’ve struggled with oversharing or found yourself in a “shabby” slump lately, give yourself some credit. You are managing a lot. But remember: you deserve to be seen as the capable, brilliant professional you are.
By tidying up these small habits, we aren’t changing who we are; we’re just clearing the way so our talent and hard work can truly shine. We’ve got this, one intentional step at a time.
I’d love to hear from you…
Which of these is your biggest challenge? For me, it’s the oversharing! Let’s chat in the comments—no judgment, just support.